


After the Rain

by pidgethepidgeon



Series: Beetlejuice Short Stories [15]
Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Coming out series, F/F, Lydia deserves love and support, Lydia has a supportive family, Lydia is a Lesbian, it's gonna talk about homophobia but it's none of the family that's homophobic, tw: bullying, tw: mentions of homophobia, tw: possible use of d slur, you can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22141540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgethepidgeon/pseuds/pidgethepidgeon
Summary: Lydia has gone through a lot in the first fifteen years of her life. From losing her mother to befriending two ghosts and a demon, to her father remarrying, from struggling to managing. Lydia was faced five times with the challenge of being honest to those she loves about who she loves, and one time she wished she could tell someone who she no longer could.
Series: Beetlejuice Short Stories [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556005
Comments: 69
Kudos: 148





	1. Charles

Charles

He knew there was something on her mind. Ever since her mother had died she had been very reserved, standoff-ish, and wanting to isolate herself. Though it hurt him deeply, he had come to expect it..he was even used to it. The silent dinners they had together with her pushing her food around disinterestedly, hardly eating more than a few bites before vanishing off to her locked room once again. He got used to her walking in the door from school and dodging his questions about her day before wanting to be alone again. She needed space, he figured, she’s just trying to cope. Her coping mechanisms confused him often, from the start they were so violent and aggressive. The night before Emily’s funeral she cut her hair and dyed it black, their first Christmas without her she ran into her room and threw a picture frame at her door, he would often hear her crying at night..trying to muffle it in a pillow so he couldn’t hear and it broke his heart that he didn’t know how to help her. Emily would know exactly what to say to her. She was always better with the emotional stuff, her and Lydia seemed to be on the same wavelength all the time. He was missing all the signals and while he regretted it he just let Lydia do what she was going to do, hoping that she would get it out of her system and be better. She didn’t get better, she would have days where things would seem normal but something would set her off and she would go five steps backward when she had only come two steps forward. 

This was different though, different than Lydia feeling the weight of the grief. He knew the minute that she walked in the door that something troubling her. He glanced her over cautiously looking for any signs that she was being more than bullied. Looking for bruises or ripped clothes or tears in her eyes. When he saw no sign that she was physically in distress he relaxed a little. She looked over at him and instantly her eyes darted away as if she was ashamed of something. She went right to the stairs, her grip on the banister nearly slipping when he called her name. Lydia stopped in her tracks, still not making eye contact. Charles was now deeply worried, something was wrong. She was hiding something, he didn’t know what even though she didn’t talk to him much since the death she never kept secrets from him, not big ones anyway. She only kept secrets when she was afraid, she kept it a secret when she was being bullied by that boy, she kept it a secret when she stopped going to her therapist at school. 

“Anything happen today at school?” he asked her gently, trying not to alarm her. Trying to keep the tone neutral so she didn’t think he was interrogating her. She shook her head, dismissed his question by simply stating it was another day like usual. She started away from him again but this time he went over to the staircase himself, but a hand on her shoulder and turned her gently around to face him. Her eyes trained on the ground as her brain replayed the events of her school day in her mind. She really wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell somebody what she knew but she was so afraid of the worst that could happen. She had been having a terrible year the way it was, the last thing that she needed was for another thing to go wrong.

Lydia’s mind was at war. One half of her was completely overtaken by the crippling fear, and doubt, and shame wanting to reach out and be honest but terrified of the rejection that may come along with it. The other half tried to rationalize that this was her father, the man who raised her from infancy and while he was making mistakes in relation to her grief and mourning she still knew he loved her. She was his daughter, he always said that all he ever wanted in life for her was to be happy, and that he’ll love her no matter what. He’d never said anything to give Lydia the indication that he wouldn’t be accepting but there was still the fear, the small voice in the back of her head constantly reminding her that she has Schrödinger’s unconditional love from her father and that one piece of information could change the way her father saw her forever. She’d already lost her mother, she didn’t want to risk losing her dad too. Her thoughts started to become overpowered with the taunts of some of her classmates, the image of the note tapped on her locker, the posts online calling her horrible names for something that she never told anybody, and something that she couldn’t control. 

She never asked to be gay. She didn’t even realize that’s what she was for a long time. She thought back to the countless online quizzes where she tried to lie to herself, lulling herself into the false sense of security that came with hiding one’s identity. She remembered trying to ignore it, much of her realization started when her mom got sick and she was so preoccupied with dealing with that situation that it was easy to put her sexuality on the backburner but every time a pretty girl smiled at her she would get these butterflies. She hated it. She tried to convince herself that all girls felt this way, it was just her wanting to be like them not wanting to date them. She remembered wanting to talk to her mom about it but every time she got close to bringing it up something else terrible happened, and now she’s gone. The one person in the world Lydia felt she could trust with anything was dead and gone. 

She was standing in the bathroom maybe a month or two before today, it was nearly three in the morning and she felt a rush of emotions when she looked her reflection dead in the eyes and for the first time in her life she came out. She came out to her reflection, “I’m gay.”

The words feeling both foreign and familiar coming from her mouth, a mixture of relief and anxiety rushing all through her body. She felt so free in finally admitting who she really was but almost as instantly as the euphoria hit the dread arrived reminding her that she would now have to decide what she was going to do for the rest of her life. She lamented about how it had been so difficult to just come out to herself that telling other people would be impossible. Now she was standing in front of her distressed father, silent, as she grappled with the possibility of telling another person that secret she had been hiding for months..years from herself and the world. She wanted to run up the stairs, slam her door, and not have to deal with this right now but she wondered if she would be giving up her chance to confide in someone. Maybe he could help her, help her deal with the teasing, teach her how to be brave and stoic like he was no matter what was thrown at him. 

She let out a shaky breath still unsure of what she was going to do but knowing that she wouldn’t get away from her dad without telling him something. The way that he looked at her when he was worried made her so angry. She responded to her father with more resentment than she had wanted, “It’s kids at school, what else is new?”

He sagged his shoulders, “What did they say today? Lydia, I can call the school again and see if I can get you moved to another class or like I said a few months ago you can finish out the year online and-”

“That’s not going to fix anything dad!” she rolled her eyes to mask the sadness in her voice, the vulnerability, “They’ll find another way to do it, not sure if you noticed but the internet is a thing now. It doesn’t just stop when I come home or I leave the class, it doesn’t stop and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it!”

“Can..can’t you block them or report them, there has to be something you can do about it. That’s harassment, look if they keep doing this my boss knows plenty of good lawyers if you have photos of the things they are saying we might have grounds for a lawsuit or at the very least you might be able to get a PFA.”

“Great.” She scoffed, “Going into high school and I’ll be the fragile girl who went off the deep end when her mother died and couldn’t handle some mean comments from kids at school so she had daddy sue them for her. I’m sure I’ll make plenty of friends that way dad!” 

“I don’t know what you want me to do!” he yelled, covering his mouth the minute the words left his mouth. Lydia tensed up at the loudness in his voice, she wasn’t afraid but her father never yelled. Very rarely had she ever seen her father get so angry that he yelled, even when she was in trouble or did something bad he would scold her but he never yelled. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she pinched her hand in an attempt to make them clear up, she didn’t want to cry right now. That was the last thing she wanted to do was fucking cry because she couldn’t handle someone raising their voice even when they weren’t angry at her. Charles softened when he saw his daughter’s demeanor change, he sighed and place a gentle hand on her shoulder and guided her to the kitchen table apologizing for yelling while they walked over together. The two of them sat down, and once more she refused to make eye contact. Her hands laid in her lap and though she was grown Charles couldn’t help but to see the little girl who came running into the kitchen with a scrapped knee looking just as distraught. She was the same little girl but she had big person problems now, he knew he couldn’t fix this with a bandaid and a kiss on the knee, “Sweetheart I want to help. Please can you just tell me what’s happening, I can’t do anything if I don’t know.”

“No, I can’t tell you.”

“Is somebody threatening you?” Charles’ chest tightened as anxiety coursed through his body, “Has someone threatened to hurt you? Because Lydia you don’t have to keep it a secret. No matter what they said they can’t hurt you if you tell.” 

She shook her head aggravated at herself for not having the courage to just tell him, instead she felt awful making him worry and go through the worst possible guesses just because she was scared. The messages online, the texts she was getting, they hurt they frightened her, he could help. She could just tell him and maybe he’ll understand, he’s a grown-up he should know what to do, “They can just be so mean!” she eventually broke down and cried out, “It started with just a few people calling me a dyke when I came to school with short hair but now it’s gotten so out of control kids in the hallways whisper about how I’m queer and some girls won’t even sit near me because they don’t want me flirting with them. They post about it online, they spread rumors about girls that I like and when I go to school the next day they all come up to me and start screaming about how they aren’t gay and they want nothing to do with me, and I don’t even like them! Not that way anyway. They put notes in my locker about it, they text me about it, they just won’t leave me alone. I can’t take it anymore, I want them to stop!”

She buried her head in her arms and shook the table as she cried. Charles sat there awkwardly unsure if she wanted to be hugged or left alone but before he could even move she jerked back up and pulled out her phone, quickly scrolling through and showing her father all the photos she had taken of the stuff they had said. She shut her phone off and sniffled, “They tell me that I’m worthless and I’m a freak, they don’t even know me!”

“You are not worthless Lydia! They are lying to you, kids can be so cruel, making up something that isn’t true and then they spread it around until everyone believes it and then they harras you because of it! It was bad when I went to school but this level of harassment is unacceptable. Lydia, I want names, I know you don’t think it’ll do anything but this is insane-”

“No dad-”

“Lydia don’t argue with me on this. For godsake you are sitting her in tears on the verge of a panic attack because they’re spreading lies about you online…”

“Dad!” She tried to interject

He continued on his tangent, already pulling out his phone ready to call the school and force Lydia to give up names, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this!”

“They aren’t lying!” Lydia yelled. The room going deathly silent as he stared at her and he stared at him. She felt as though the world was in slow motion, she put it out there. She couldn’t take it back, no matter what. She made this choice, she had no other choice, she wanted to do this, she didn’t want to do this. God she was so scared. She wanted him to say something to react but nothing happened she felt more tears welling up in her eyes, her face turning red as she held onto the breath she had just taken in. 

“What are you talk-” he paused and lowered his tone, “Lydia are you?”

“I’m gay.” 

The words once again feeling strange but familiar as she said them, almost powerful. Her confidence quickly waivered and she could see the cogs in her father’s brain churning as he processed what she had just told him. She braced herself for the worst, for screaming and yelling and insults, for him to disown her leaving her parentless and more alone than she already was. She waited for it all to happen, for her life to fall apart. 

He didn’t though. He didn’t react for a good thirty seconds but when he finally did he nodded, “Okay, alright. You’re gay...no honey please no don’t cry! Lydia, it’s okay! It’s okay! I love you, I’ll always love you, honey, this doesn’t change anything. Is this why you’ve been so much more distant lately? Were you afraid to tell me?”

She ran over to her dad and burrowed herself into a hug, nodding in repose into his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears in the process, “I was so afraid to tell anybody. I haven’t told anybody until now, I was so scared that you’d hate me.”

“Hate you?” He pulled away from the hug slightly, not letting her go, “Lydia I would never hate you! I’m so sorry you thought you couldn’t tell me. Honey, I don’t care who you date, I just want you to be happy!”

Lydia’s heart swelled with relief, all the tension drained from her body and she felt so much lighter, almost as if she was going to faint. She held on tighter in the hug, keeping herself upright as she mumbled, “I felt so alone like I had nobody on my side.” 

For the rest of the night, Lydia and her dad talked about what she was going to do about the bullies at her school, reluctantly she ended up giving names of the main offenders and had some of her classes switched so she didn’t have to be around them as much. Charles offered to buy her a different phone so they couldn’t bother her there anymore but she had to promise to take a break from social media or at the very least make all of her accounts private. They ordered Chinese take out and spent the evening just being with each other, what she had said not being questioned or talked about further unless Lydia wanted to bring it up more. When she went to sleep that night Charles sat down at his laptop and typed, “My daughter just came out to me, what do I do?” 

Lydia came home from school the next day already feeling much better having moved classes and not carrying the weight of her secret so heavily. She walked through the door and went to the kitchen to grab a snack when she was her father standing by the counter holding a small rainbow flag and opening his arms for a hug, “I’ll always be on your side.”


	2. Delia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Delia go shopping in an attempt to bond

Lydia wasn’t the biggest fan of shopping but Delia suggested that they go on a step-mother-step-daughter shopping bonding trip that weekend and Lydia literally couldn’t think of one reason not to despite her best efforts to come up with one at the moment. She just hated how crowded the mall could be and she doubted that what Delia meant by shopping was a trip to the electronics store where Lydia could browse around all the camera accessories and expensive cameras she’d never be able to afford. She had guessed correctly that their outing would be browsing the local mall in the next town over, getting their nails done, and getting lunch. Not all of those things she hated, she actually enjoyed going to the nail shop with Delia who didn’t even push it when she got black nails, as usual, the only thing Delia suggested was some glitter which Lydia reluctantly added and refused to admit that she actually quite liked. 

“Lydia I know you’re starting school in a month or two and I thought maybe we could get you some new clothes,” Delia suggested, pushing her food around her plate while they sat in the restaurant

Lydia smiled, “I have a uniform, but thank you anyway.”

“I know you have a uniform, don’t know why Charles insisted on picking a school with the ugliest uniform I’ve ever seen-”

“It’s only a white button-up shirt and a black skirt.” Lydia teased, “It’s not the end of the world.”

“Maybe not, but you do need clothes for not school. When you go out with your friends and do things that typical teenagers do like..I don’t know do Fortnight dances and talk about memes. You want to be up to date on the newest fashion trends so you can look...as the kids say, Lit AF.”

“Delia I enjoy spending time with you but please for the love of God don’t talk like that again. I’m embarrassed for you.” Lydia covered her face with her hands and groaned, “And I don’t like the popular clothes. You must know by now that I prefer black.”

“We can work with that though! I know you like dresses but you definitely need some shirts and pants, and I know it’s a while until winter but it’s really cold in Connecticut so you’ll need a winter wardrobe.”

“I lived in New York all my life? I’m pretty sure I know how to dress for the snow.”

Delia blushed, “I know, I know you do I just want to help your transition to this new school smoother. I know you really struggled at your old school and kids can be so mean, I just don’t want you to have to deal with that all again. I want you to be happy here.”

“I am happy here, I have all of you guys at the house to keep me company.”

Delia got quiet and looked over at her step-daughter. She didn’t want to say anything to the contrary because Lydia looked so sincere when she said that. There was a genuine smile on her face, and while Delia was glad that she loved spending time with them she wanted to make sure that Lydia had friends of her own, friends her own age that she could really connect with and be happy around. Even at her old school, she was pretty alone, Lydia didn’t open up about much when they first met in New York at Delia’s old office but it was evident that Lydia spent much of her time at school by herself. She would mention a few kids every now and then but nothing to suggest they were more than passing acquaintances. She also knew that Lydia was harshly bullied and it would break her heart if it happened at this new school. Lydia liked to call herself an outsider, she didn’t like to follow the trends at school or online, and Delia sincerely hoped that Lydia would find her people in Connecticut, but shuddered at the memories of a desolate and lonely girl sitting with her knees tucked to her chest while she sat in Delia’s office talking about how she loves learning but can’t take the constant harassment from her peers. Delia had once tried to convince Lydia that her problem was positivity and that all Lydia needed to do was be more warm and friendly and as a result, people would like her. She now realized how wrong she was and how much more damage that did to Lydia by unintentionally shifting the blame onto her. 

Delia shook away the thoughts of the past, wanting to move forward in her relationship with her step-daughter. She returned Lydia’s enthusiasm with a smile, “I know you love spending time with us, and I hope that you find more people to be around. I know it would be good for you.” 

“Yeah maybe,” Lydia shrugged, disinterested. 

The two of them finished their meal, paid their bill and went over to the mall. It was less crowded than the malls had been in New York, which eased some of Lydia’s tension. She still had to dodge the aggressive perfume testers offering her a free sample. They went to a couple stores mainly with Delia finding herself a couple of things to buy though she would suggest things to Lydia that would earn a scrunched up nose or a shake of the head. Delia kept trying to get her more colorful looking things, light blues, yellows, pinks, and reds. Lydia would be open to the idea of more color in her clothing but bright obnoxious colors had always been a turn off for her, she wanted to be able to blend in and bright colors made her stick out. Delia ended up convincing her to buy a blue blouse and a light grey cardigan. 

Walking through the mall Lydia noticed a small kiosk selling lots of knick-knack trinkets that were a combination of wholesome to strange and unusual. Grabbing Delia’s hand she dragged her over and spent the next twenty minutes looking at all the items. She ended up picking out a new collar for the kitten they had just rescued the other week. They had most of the stuff they needed for the kitten already but Lydia had never really had pets as a kid so she was ready to spoil the hell out of the kittens she affectionately named Cation in response to Delia urging Lydia to be more positive. 

With bags in their hands after a full afternoon packed full of shopping, they started to head towards the exit and back to the car. Delia was attempting to coax more conversation out of the teenager asking about her life and what she was looking forward to with the new school year starting in the next month, “You’ve been around town quite a bit when you go for walks around downtown...have you seen any people worth mentioning?”

“I mean I saw a person trying to befriend a pidgeon by offering it french fries if that’s what you mean. That was pretty interesting.”

“No I mean like,” Delia pursed her lips trying to think of how best to ask Lydia the question, “Have you seen any cute boys? When I was your age I had like a crush of the week basically. Didn’t really date much until later in high school but there’s no harm in having any crushes.”

Lydia blushed trying not to think about the cute girl at the ice cream shop she had seen when she took Skye after babysitting last week. She looked to be around Lydia’s age but what are the odds that in a small town like this that she’d find any other people like her, “No not really.” She lied trying to deflect the conversation.

“Really? Because you seem to be blushing an awful lot for somebody that doesn’t have a crush.” 

Looking around for any conversation started that could be an escape from this embarrassing topic Lydia briefly locked eyes with a boy she had seen around town before. He was a jerk, always yelling with his friends’ really annoying and sometimes degrading things about the people walking past him. He had tried flirting with Lydia before, she didn’t give much credit to it considering he had hit on the girl before her and the girl after her. He was the least bit smooth and for a fifteen-year-old, he was more vulgar than she had anticipated. She quickly darted her eyes away when he noticed her and gave her a cock-eyed smile and a wink. Lydia rolled her eyes and groaned at him. 

Delia playfully nudged her shoulder. She didn’t understand why Lydia had been so dismissive of the boy, even if she didn’t like him he might have been someone she could have been friends with when she started school so she didn’t need to start from scratch. Delia played around with the thought that maybe Lydia did have a crush on him and was trying to be coy about it to get her off her back, “Hey! Is that who the mystery boy is? You shouldn’t have ignored him, that’s not polite!”

Without even thinking Lydia blurted out, “I’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.”

The minute the words passed her lips Lydia froze, she hadn’t even planned on coming out to Delia, at least not yet, not this way. It had been so hard when she told her father she had no clue why it just slipped up in this conversation, she was usually so good at keeping it on the down-low, changing the language so people didn’t ask. She always thought that coming out was this long conversation with lots of hugs and tears, and though Lydia felt like she was going to cry for being so careless in how she told her, Delia didn’t really seem to have much of a reaction. She simply smiled, shrugged and said, “So...are there any cute girls around town worth mentioning.”


	3. The Maitlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia comes out to Adam and Barbara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Bullying, Use of D slur, mentions of homophobia

She didn’t want to put it off any longer. She had already told her father and Delia the truth, she wanted to tell the Maitlands but she wondered if she was making the wrong choice, I mean she hardly knew them. They’d only moved into their house a two months and maybe it would make things too awkward if Lydia told them that she was a lesbian. She didn’t doubt they’d be fine with it, but she debated if it was something they needed to know...or if now was even the right time to tell them. She agonized for weeks about telling her father, and while it just kind of slipped out when she told Delia it seemed like the natural progression of their relationship. The Maitlands were new territory, uncharted territory. Maybe she was putting too much pressure on this whole thing, maybe she should just rip off the bandage and tell them casually like she did with Delia. 

There were a few times where she had the chance too. The first time they were having breakfast alone together when Delia and her dad went on a weekend trip for their jobs. Adam and Barbara were talking about how they started dating in high school, and everyone assumed that since they were high school sweethearts they were each other’s first partners but Barbara had dated three guys before Adam and Adam had dated two other people and one very very awkward date that ended with him sneaking out of the restaurant and hiding from them at school the next day. Lydia was about to ask how to ask people out and casually mention how it would be a girl but suddenly Beetlejuice came crashing down the stairs covered in blue slime and blaming Lydia’s kitten Cation for the mess. 

The second time the three of them were all hanging out upstairs in the attic, Barbara was teaching Lydia to sew and had made a joke about how it’s very important to keep the needle straight. Lydia decided that perhaps that joke wasn’t the best way to announce her sexuality to her new family members. 

She put it off for a long time, letting opportunity after opportunity pass by where she could have told them but she just couldn’t bring herself to. July and August passed by where any time Lydia would build up the courage something would stop her, something would prevent her from saying it. Often times it was Beetlejuice doing something stupid that took everyone’s attention but sometimes it would be a frog in her throat keeping the words from coming out. She was about to start her freshman year of high school at her new school and lots of emotions started bubbling up all at once. She missed her mom, mainly, this was the first school year where her mother wouldn’t have breakfast with her, hand her a card with words of encouragement, and walk out the door after a tight hug. She didn’t want to admit it but it stung making her own lunch that morning, she’d made her own before but it was a little tradition of theirs and it was over now. On the walk to school, she got very anxious about all the new people she was going to meet and Delia’s concern about her making friends started to feel a lot more pressing than they had a few months ago. She didn’t want to have to go through what happened in middle school all over again, she wanted this to be a clean slate and hoped that people wouldn’t have preconceived opinions about her. She obsessed over making sure her uniform looked proper and that nobody would be able to pick out flaws in her appearance. She had never cared before but now she couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

With her scheduled clutched in her hands, she made her way throughout the school day with very little hiccups. She was very grateful that she wasn’t the only person struggling that day as all the freshmen were dashing around the building like madmen trying to find where their classes were. Once she thought she walked into the wrong room because the class was filled with people that looked a good deal older than her, even the teacher looked confused at her presence but after checking her paperwork Lydia was where she was supposed to be, she had apparently scored high on her science placement test and was moved to an upper-level course, instead of Earth science she was now in intro to chemistry where she was one of two freshmen in a class of mainly juniors. The other kid her age sat in the back, hardly paying attention, and though she didn’t recognize her at first it was the same girl she had seen working at the ice cream parlor. It was strange seeing her without the ridiculous ice cream hat and pale blue polo shirt, instead, they both were wearing identical black and white uniforms but Lydia could swear that on the cuff of the other girl sweater she could see a rainbow-colored pin. Though it was a flash in the pan realization Lydia’s first thought was that she maybe now had a chance. Her second thought was that she wanted to tell Adam and Barbara about this girl, but in order to do that, she would have to tell them she was gay first. 

Her first week of school went by without much excitement, she found some people to sit with at lunch, she was getting along well with the kids she had been grouped with in her geometry class, but her favorite part of the day was chemistry. The ice cream shop girl who she now learned was named Wendy got her seat moved temporarily for not paying attention in class and she was now sitting right next to Lydia. Though Lydia really loved chemistry she often was more focused on glancing over at Wendy’s notebook where she would see lots of little doodles, some pertaining to the things being said in class, but some of them were just random pictures. She wasn’t exactly sure why but seeing the drawings made Lydia feel really happy, and it disappointed her when Wendy was allowed to move back to her old seat on Friday. 

The weekend went by without ceremony and her entire family was shocked when Lydia talk for hours about how much she loved her new school and how excited she was to go back on Monday. Her father and Delia, of course, were relieved to know that Lydia finally started to feel like she was fitting in with her peers. The Maitlands were just happy Lydia was happy, and Beetlejuice was just annoyed that she wasn’t around the house as much anymore to wreak havoc around the house. It surely didn’t stop him from face-timing her while she was in class claiming it was an emergency such as the time when he didn’t know what a mirror was and thought it was an evil clone of it copying all his moves. Luckily she was at lunch at that point, but unsure of how her new classmates would react to the demon living at her house, between laughs she told them it was her brother being annoying. 

Being Lydia Deetz she was mistrusting of how well things were going, she didn’t have good luck, she wasn’t this smooth and this confident. Though she wanted desperately to just embrace the good and enjoy the happiness she was feeling but she felt it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down and it’s easier to fall from a short height than to fall off the top of the world. As expected it all came crashing down around her. Somehow a student from here that was curious about Lydia’s past got in contact with someone she went to school with back in New York. Just like that the clean slate that she had so desperately wanted was tarnished with her reputation from her old school. It started as just typical bullying. Some kids would call her a freak, some kids would book her in the hallways, one or two would go for low blows about her mother’s death. She felt she could handle those, they were the same as middle schoolers and it was only a handful of kids. The comments stung but they didn’t break her. They started getting meaner, it started spreading around the school that she was “psychotic” and that the only reason she was acting normal now was being she was hopped up on all these psych meds. That she had lost it in New York and got expelled for attacking another student, and it was only a matter of time before it happened again. It slowly started to grow from four or five kids to ten or fifteen. Nasty notes pushed in her locker, leering stares from kids in the halls. She tried to just ignore it, trying not to care what they had to say. Her father noticed immediately that Lydia’s enthusiasm towards school drastically started to dwindle after the second week and she mentioned in passing that some of the kids in her class were being pricks. 

She’d avoid certain hallways, she’d look down at the ground when passing by people she knew would target her. She tried to go low profile and hope that in a week or two it would all blow over and she could just start over and everyone would forget the fake rumors spreading around the school. She was willing to wait if it meant she could just have a shot, but every person has their breaking point and hers came when a girl that she thought she was becoming really good friends with stopped sitting with their group at lunch. When Lydia texted her that night asking if she was sick or something the girl simply replied that she didn’t want to be spending her lunches sitting with a dyke. Lydia felt her heart stop when she stared down at the words on the screen, words that she hadn’t been called in almost half a year already. It hurt just as bad as it did back then. Lydia hadn’t even told anybody at school, she didn’t do anything to indicate she was. Lydia frantically asked where the girl heard that rumor and Lydia was sent five or six screenshots of online posts making fun of her, most of them she recognized from New York but one of them was new. Each one just as cruel and offensive, slurs that she winced at even in writing. She threw her phone across the room and buried her head in her pillow letting out a muffled scream of frustration. 

In tears she curled into herself just wishing that her mother were here with her, she always knew what to say about the bullies or just what to say to bring a smile to Lydia’s face. Her mother would tell her something like the kids are just targetting her because she’s different and that the problem isn’t with her being different but that it was with them not accepting it. The words from her mother would be a comfort but coming from within herself they were meaningless. She wished she could be confident like Wendy and not be afraid to wear a rainbow pin or just say to the people harassing her that she isn’t ashamed but their words cut like sharp knives and she felt very alone. Along with all of her issues at school she thought more about her mother’s absence, and Lydia remembered how she never told her mom that she was gay, and that now she would never have the chance. She was so preoccupied with being scared and feeling like she was wrong that she never told one of the people that she knew would support and love her no matter what. She felt guilt and anguish spread over her body like hot flames as the notifications still kept going off on her phone. She was in a similar situation mear months ago and though she had waited until things got so out of control she couldn’t cope she picked up her phone, went to her father’s bedroom and told him about the bullying. She presented as almost emotionless, matter-of-factly because she knew that if she got into how much it really upset her it would make everything so much worse. 

After a few more days the rumors started to dwindle and she fell back into a semi-comfortable routine save for one nagging feeling that she was putting off something very important. She knew the Maitlands had been informed of her bullying at school but her dad and Delia respectfully didn’t tell the Maitlands what about as they knew Lydia hadn’t come out to them yet. She avoided answering their concerned questions, changing the subject any time the brought it up. After a day or two of walking around on eggshells, Lydia had decided that enough was enough and that she was going to tell them tonight. It was a Friday night and as usual, they were going to hole up in the attic and play a cheesy movie in the background while they did something else. This week Barbara was going to help Lydia finally finish the dress that she had started sewing all on her own, she had a dress down day coming up at school and wanted to wear it blushing when she wondered if Wendy might notice it. The three of them were all sitting on the floor working on their respective tasks when Lydia gulped, “Can I talk to you guys about something? It’s kinda important.”

Instantly they put their things down and looked at her. While their gaze was sincere and meant to communicate that she had their attention all it did was set the spark of the anxiety inferno raging in her chest. Everything she had been feeling in the past week and a half started flashing and she immediately felt overwhelmed and wanted to backtrack but knew that it was too late now. If she told them never mind they would know something was up and they’d press her for details. She swore she could run her finger through the thick tension filling the room, the longer she said nothing the worse it got. She didn’t understand what was holding her back, she wanted to do this. She knew them, and she hoped that they would be fine with it. They never gave any indication that they wouldn’t be, they seemed really chill about most things. Adam had even kissed Beetlejuice, though that was an attempt to distract him when he was about to discover Lydia was lying. 

“Of course, what’s up?” Adam finally said breaking the tension

Her move now. She wrung her fingers in her hands and muttered something along the lines of that she might have a crush at school, opting for a more positive note to start the conversation. She didn’t want to unload all her baggage onto them. This was a safe route, it was big enough news that if she wanted to it could her scapegoat, she could leave it at that and save the real news for another day. 

She was instantly responded to with enthusiasm, Barbara squealing like a high schooler and clapping, “Oh my goodness that’s so cute!! Is this your first crush, aww honey this is great news! I was so worried that with all the things Charles was telling us about how mean the kids at school were being that you would miss out on the good things about being this age. You have to tell me everything about him, what class did you meet in?”

“Did you two lock eyes over the last tray of french fries in the lunch line, both of you having hands on them but it was just boom instant chemistry?” Adam added, “Because if I ever sat down and ghost-wrote a romance novel that would be the meet-cute. Did you go to move your hand away but he insisted that you take them?”

Lydia laughed at his stupid puns and Barbara rolled her eyes at her husband before bothe excitedly turned back to Lydia who had momentarily forgotten the point of the conversation until Barbara asked again, “So...are you going to tell us about him?”

Taking in a deep breath Lydia tried to focus on the happy memories. The butterflies she got in her stomach when she saw Wendy in the halls, the pride flag from her father that she had sitting in a pen-holder on her desk, the five kids who still sat with her at lunch even though they too had heard about the rumors. She focused on how it was perfectly fine for her to feel this way, that there was nothing wrong with her, that Adam and Barbara would support her too. She intended to speak with more assurance but the word came out more timid than she had planned on. Quietly she corrected them, “She….that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’m gay.”

“I am so thrilled that you felt comfortable enough to tell us this!” Barbara said without hesitation, “Okay so tell us all about this girl that you’ve got a crush on. Is she cute? Do you two talk or are you still in that awkward ‘pining from a distance’ phase?” 

“Pining from a distance phase, I don’t even know if she knows I exist but she’s so funny. She does these doodles in her notebook during chemistry-”

“Ohhh so you’ve got chemistry with her huh?” Adam nudged her with his elbow earning a groan from the two women

“Adam that was awful! She doesn’t need to deal with your corny puns right now, this is serious”

“Oh I completely understand when I came out to my parents it really took them bi surprise especially considering that I was married to a woman when I told them.”

“You’re bi?” Lydia asked excited at the prospect of having somebody else in the community that she could get advice from if she even had questions. She knew Beetlejuice was pansexual but going to him for advice on dating would be like using gasoline to out a fire, he would probably tell her in order to win over Wendy she’d have to do some gross and or elaborate thing

“Don’t you remember me telling you about that one guy I dated in high school a month or two before I started dating Barbara...Alex I have honor history with him but we broke up after we couldn’t agree who contributed more to the industrial revolution.”

“In my defense, you didn’t use any pronouns….and Alex is a unisex name!”

“Fair enough fair enough.”

“Can I just say that this is such a relief to me that this went well. I had been stressing out over this whole thing since about July.”

The two of them stopped laughing and grew quiet and serious. For a second neither of them spoke until Barbara asked her, “Were you afraid to tell us?”

“No, no, no. It’s..it’s not like that. I was just nervous to tell you guys, not because I thought you’d be homophobic, I didn’t think that for a second, I knew you’d be fine with it, thrilled even, well maybe not thrilled it’s not good or bad news it’s just ya know a fact about me but.” Lydia huffed frustrated that she couldn’t get the words to come out right, “I don’t know it came so easy when I told Delia but telling you guys felt like when I told my dad. I didn’t want to make a joke about it, I wanted it to be a serious conversation even though I hate those, they stress me out and I put so much pressure on this and then I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom and just….how badly I wish I had been able to tell her about this all. You guys are wonderful but she’d know exactly what to say about all of this, about Wendy about the kids at school that were bullying me about in first in New York and now here.”

“That’s what those assholes were bullying you for!” Adam shouted, “That’s terrible, I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that, I couldn’t imagine having all of that on your plate at once.”

“It’s really hard sometimes, I feel like I have nobody to turn to even though I live in a house with the most freaking supportive and loving people I have ever met. How many people can say they have five parents?” Lydia chuckled, “But when I’m at school or in my room and they call me all these terrible names it breaks down all the work I’ve done to realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of, I wish I didn’t care if other people found out, I feel like such a coward when I go back to pretending and hiding it all. I want to be like-” she stopped herself from mentioning Wendy not wanting to seem too infatuated with her, “I just want to be confident.”

Adam scooted over towards her and gave her a hug, “It’s not easy, it took me a long time to be okay with it let alone confident. I remember how scared I was when I told Barbara about it thinking she would just want to break up with me because she would assume I was just gay and using her as a cover story or worse that she’d just assume that because I’m bi I’d cheat on her. It was one of the scariest things I ever had to do but when I did it she just smiled and said that she knew the minute that I moved seats in history class after being ‘best friends’ with Alex for like three months. The thing is Lydia that it gets easier, and one day you won’t feel the need to explain yourself or the emotions you feel when coming out. They are all valid, and I know it’s confusing but we’re here for you. We all are.”

Lydia’s heart swelled in her chest with the outpouring of support and acceptance she was receiving that evening. Her father and Delia were wonderful and their support meant just as much to her as theirs but with Adam, she had someone who experienced the things she was experiencing. He was walking proof that things would be okay, that for every hateful person there were a plethora of people having her back and reassuring her that everything would be okay in the end.

“And I know you wish your mom was here, I wish she was here too and that we could all go through this together.”

“I wish I had told her.” Lydia admitted, “I was too scared and there was so much going on in life that I never told her about it. She wouldn’t have cared, she would have reacted like everyone else so far but it feels empty without me knowing it for a fact. It just reminds me that there’s so much she’s never going to get to know about me and something that I could have told her before the end...I didn’t because I was too afraid. It makes me feel terrible.”

Barbara rubbed Lydia’s back sympathetically, “You were a kid, you still are a kid. Accepting yourself for who you are no matter what it is is a hard and time-consuming process, I know you feel like you lied to her but I promise you didn’t, you just weren’t ready to tell her that. I’m positive she understands.”

Lydia wiped at her eyes trying to clear away the tears threatening to spill over with all the talk about her mom. She knew deep down they were right and that her mom wouldn’t be mad at her for keeping it a secret but part of her still desperately wanted to right the wrong and find some way, somehow to tell her but she knew there wasn’t. It was too late, and this would just be another thing that Emily didn’t get to know about her daughter, “I miss her so much. Going back to school was so hard without her and even when things were going well I was still upset about it, then it all fell apart so fast. I feel like I can never have a minute to catch my breath.”

“Then let’s do it now.” Barbara suggested, “Come on. Let’s all take in a deep breath.”

“No, that’s not what I meant..it was metaphorical-”

“It might feel pointless but when you feel like you’re running in circles and you can’t breathe sometimes the best thing you can do is stop for a minute and just focus on your breathing. There’s so much in the world you can’t control but you can control this.”

“I see you paid attention during our yoga class,” Adam remarked

“Better than you did, your snoring disrupted everyone. We may have only gone to one class but I remember vaguely what he said so come on Lydia. Breath in through your nose.”

She rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose

“Hold it for a few seconds and then exhale through your mouth slowly,” Barbara explained as she went along with the exercise with her. 

With her exhale Lydia felt the tension in her chest lessen just a little and her mind felt a little clearer. She didn’t want to admit it, and it wasn’t perfect but it did make her feel better. It calmed her down. She spent a little more time in the attic talking about less heavy things, them eventually getting out of her more details about Wendy or any other girls she thought were cute. She felt lighter, laughter filling her instead of the urge to cry. She glanced over at the clock after a while and realized that it was almost midnight, and even though she didn’t have school the next day she was supposed to babysit Skye. She wished them goodnight and right when she was about to open the attic door Adam got a mischevious smile on his face and called out, “Lydia, what did you tell us you were again?”

“I’m gay?” Lydia asked confused as they just had a literal hours-long conversation about this 

“Hi gay, I’m Adam.”

She groaned at his dad pun and Barbara smacked him playfull on top the head with a rolled-up newspaper while he howled with laughter. Lydia turned back around to head out the door and was partly down the hallway when she felt a hand on her shoulder, it didn’t shock her as there were tons of people in the house and BJ was always sneaking up on her so she was always on guard. Barbara walked around and stood in front of her and smiled, pulling Lydia into a warm hug, “I’m really proud of you for having the courage to tell us. I know you miss your mom, and I know I’m not Emily. I don’t want to be Emily, I would never try to replace her in your life, but I just want you to know that you never have to be afraid to come to us for anything. I am always here to help you with whatever a mother would.”


	4. Beetlejuice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lydia comes out to Beetlejuice

There was something going on in the house. Things had been a little too chummy around here ever since Lydia had gone back to school. Beetlejuice was annoyed to lose his partner in crime for seven hours out of the day plus all those hours she would spend in her room yelling at her homework. He hardly got a chuckle when he offered to eat her homework so she could blame it on the demon living in her house, she just rolled her eyes at him as she curled up another sheet of what she considered wrong answers and tossed it in the trash can next to her desk. The first week everything was fine, he was lonely but when she came home she was still excited to see him and talk about her day. He didn’t tell her how extremely boring it was, but sometimes her stories would drone on and she’d get into these tangents that he didn’t quite understand. For example, she came home on a Thursday and complained about for a solid hour about her geometry class and how difficult it is to find the circumference of a circle. He thought that was pointless but she seemed worked up over it. It all just seemed like normal teenage stuff to him for the first while back to school, but the second week she stopped coming in all smiles or huffing about some stupid question she got wrong on the quiz. She would spend more time shut up in the room, not wanting to talk to anyone. 

He wasn’t good with the whole emotions thing, any time he tried to help her he usually made the mess a whole lot worse so he figured he’d just let the breathers figure out why she was mopping around so much. It was a boring waiting game though, he heard fragments of what was going on some kids were being pricks to her at school but she rejected his offer to “take care of things” because his idea of taking care of things was apparently “immoral” and “illegal”. He was walking past her bedroom one night and he heard her crying, and something was thrown against her wall. He peered in cautiously wanting to do something, even if it was just distracting her with a stupid joke but she noticed him, walked over and gently shut the door in his face. He took the message and gave her space, but he couldn’t help but to feel a little hurt when he heard her talking to her father in his bedroom about how she was feeling. She was glad though that things were getting better, she seemed happier after that conversation and though he didn’t understand what exactly was going on he was happy to have his friend back. 

“Do you ever worry you’re avoiding doing something really important?” she asked him while he was absolutely destroying her at Mario Cart

“Constantly, I was supposed to give Chuck the keys to his car back like a month ago.”

“Wait my dad let you borrow the car?”

“Borrow isn’t the word I would use, I would say I took it without permission and have been avoiding giving him his keys back to not get caught. I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything, I have no clue how he’s been getting to work all this time.”

Lydia glared at him, “He has a second set of keys? He thought he lost his at the store or something.”

“You aren’t going to tell on me are ya, Scarecrow?” 

“No, I’m not a snitch. You just owe me now.”

“The usual?” Beetlejuice lowered his voice while Lydia tried to hold back a giggle as she nodded, “Okay fine, you’re a tough customer. I’ll find a way to get you more Capri Suns but it might take me some time.”

She wrinkled her nose at him just like she did any time she thought he was funny. He liked it when she laughed, he was so used to seeing her somber and upset during those first few days he knew her, and he still shuddered when he thought about when he found her crying in the bathroom...a bottle of pills thrown in the garbage can. Thankfully unopened but his mind instantly went to the worst. Seeing her happy was the closest thing he got to feeling alive again, and it was much nicer than the rollercoaster of emotions that first time around. 

“So what are you avoiding? Telling Chuck about a bad grade or worse...telling Barbara about a bad grade? What was it in, because I’ll have you know I graduated for Julliard and I’m sure I can figure out whatever easy stuff they’re teaching you, sixth graders.”

“I’m in high school BJ, but no it’s not that. I don’t know, it was dumb of me to ask. It’s just kind of confusing and I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually but,” she was getting flustered trying to explain, “I’ll tell you another time.”

He shrugged and they went back to playing their video game. He was heavily insulted to realize that there wasn’t even a second controller to the console and that the whole time he had been using a flower pot and thinking one of the cars was his. She had let him go on like that for almost two hours before she eventually broke down laughing and told him the truth. Said flower pot was then smashed on the floor and the two had to quickly fix it before Barbara found out. 

Another week or so passed by with Lydia getting more comfortable with her new routine. Every Saturday she made time to spend with him just hanging out, doing friends things while listening to her talk about her week. He had been planning an amazing prank with Lydia to play on her father. The two struggled to figure out where he, a dead guy, and Lydia, a child would be able to purchase fireworks, but they figured they could just cross that bridge when they got to it. Friday nights though he was kind of the odd man out, that’s when she went up to the attic to hang with the Maitlands, so he usually either popped back to the Netherworld or recently he found out he had a lot more in common with Donna than he thought, he even finally figured out that he named was actually Delia. That Friday night Delia was busy though, selfishly going on a dinner date with Charles leaving Beetlejuice to his own devices, he thought about crashing the attic party but when he got to the door he heard Lydia sniffling about something and figured this was a whole lovey-dovey thing that he shouldn’t interrupt. He couldn’t help but feel left out, wishing that sometimes Lydia would come to him with this kind of stuff too but he figured the Maitlands or her parents knew better, he should just stick with being the fun one. 

Lydia woke up the next morning feeling so much lighter after having told the Maitlands what was on her mind and she was ready to unleash the master prank her and BJ had been planning for almost two weeks now. Though it took some work and possibility lying about her age on the internet they were able to secure three bottle-rockets and fourteen confetti poppers, she wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen but she was just excited to see the look on everyone’s face if they could actually figure out how to get it to explode the colors they had picked. The two of them were out in the backyard, trying not to draw attention to themselves when she realized she hadn’t told BJ yet. He was just as much a member of her new family as everyone else was, and she felt bad for not telling him sooner. 

She didn’t know how to approach it with him though, it had been an accident with Delia, a serious conversation with her dad and the Maitlands, and none of those seemed like options for telling him. A joke seemed too casual but he wasn’t the serious conversation kind of guy. She looked over at him kicking a rock at the fence in the yard because “it was looking at him the wrong way” and she decided there was no right or wrong way to do it. 

“Hey Beej, can I tell you something?”

“Is it how to get vengeance on a rock because that fucking STONE over there is getting on my last damn nerve”

“No, it’s not that dumbass.” She rolled her eyes at him, and lead him by the hand over to the porch swing, “I want to tell you something, and it’s kinda important so don’t be weird about it, alright?”

“No promises.”

“I’m gay.”

“I’m a hazard to society.”

Lydia jerked her head back, “Wait what?”  
“Oh, I thought we were saying things that were obvious.” She smacked his arm roughly and he gave her a toothy grin, “What? Come on you think I didn’t know that my best friend wasn’t into dudes?”

“You literally married me!” 

“Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you it was a green card thing! It was funny the first time you joked about being my widow. Besides, that sham of a marriage was mutually beneficial.”

“I fail to see how I benefitted from it besides it being an interesting topic to discuss with my therapist.”

He groaned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “It was meant to serve as a message to reinforce that men are trash.”

“Aren’t you a man?” Lydia tilted her head at him

“Am I not trash?”

“And don’t you have like a massive crush on the Maitlands? I can’t say for sure but I’m pretty sure Adam is a guy.” She laughed when she was tints of crimson flush on Beetlejuice’s cheeks. They both laughed for a little bit before Lydia sighed, “I’m glad I told you, even if you’re being annoying about it.”

“That’s my job.” He ruffled her short black hair affectionately, “...I’m glad you told me too.”


	5. Emily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of cancer, death, suicide mention. 
> 
> This chapter basically covers most of Lydia's childhood and peeks into her adulthood. Towards the end it becomes very OOC and yes I 1000% made the OC of Wendy endgame haha.   
> Grab your tissues this is gonna be a sad one, but I promise it ends happy

Emily knew. Lydia was about four or five years old when Emily got the first indication from a conversation lost to Lydia’s memory. The two of them were walking to the bodega down the street when they ran into the couple that lived in the other half of their duplex, they were a really nice couple with two children, including a son named David who was Lydia’s age and a new baby on the way. From conversation over the years, Emily had learned that the two of them had been together for almost ten years now and though they weren’t legally married they did everything a married couple would. She and Charles hosted them for dinner before while their kids had a playdate, Sara was a lawyer from an environmental company and Jessica was an accountant who got along famously with Emily’s real estate agent husband. Being only three at the time Lydia didn’t even notice anything about the situation, she just knew that the little boy from next door was a worth hide and seek opponent. 

It had rained that afternoon so Lydia was preoccupied jumping up and down in every rain puddle she came across, her yellow rain jacket making her look like a little duck as she hopped down the street. Sara and Jessica must have gone down to the store and gotten caught in the storm because their hair was soaked as they walked up the street. Emily invited them over for game night that evening and the three of them started talking. Lydia paid no attention to the grown-up talk until she saw the two women hold each other’s hands, and the one lady kissing the other’s as they made a joke. She stared at them for a second and was disrupted when her mom bid them farewell and held onto Lydia’s hand once more and started walking towards the shops again. 

“Mama how come they hold hands like you and daddy?”

Emily smiled gently at her curious but blunt daughter, “Because they love each other like me and daddy do. That’s why David has two mommies.”

Lydia’s eyes widened, “There can be two mommies?”

“There are lots of kinds of family’s sweetie. Sometimes it’s a mommy and a daddy, sometimes it’s two mommies or two daddies, sometimes it’s just one.”

“Are they married?”

Not wanting to discuss the long and complex history of trying to get marriage equality to a kindergartener Emily told her they were. The look on her face when she told her that was as if a light bulb had lit up in her tiny head. Very matter of factly Lydia looked up, smiled widely at Emily, her smile missing a few teeth that had become the property of the tooth fairy, and announced, “I want to marry a girl too!”

“That’s okay with me,” Emily chuckled unsure if anything would ever come of the conversation or if it would be another one of the musings of a child like how last week Lydia wanted to be a bird. Emily couldn’t tell the future, but no matter how it went she knew she’d love Lydia no matter what. Emily slightly hoped that the couple next door would be there while Lydia was growing up so that if she was, Lydia would never have to grow up thinking it was something abnormal. Unfortunately the next year Jessica had been offered a lucrative position in California and the whole family moved away, within a few months Lydia had almost completely forgotten about the family next door and they were instead replaced with an equally nice elderly couple that Lydia would always associate to be her childhood neighbors.

* * *

Lydia was a little older the second time Emily thought she knew. She was in the third grade making valentines for the Valentine’s Day party in school the next day, most the kids in her class would be receiving a paper card with a lollipop taped to it and a quick, messy scribble that was supposed to resemble Lydia’s signature. Only one card was neat looking, it was also the one on the packaging that Lydia had said was her favorite. It was a cartoon cat holding a heart that said: “Be my meowentine” and Lydia signed her name with her I dotted with a heart. Curious as to who this prized valentine was going to Emily glanced down at the name and didn’t recognize it from the mental list of kids Lydia was friends with. It was addressed to a girl named Chloe. Even the cards for the kids she was friends with didn’t look as nice as this one. Emily wondered if this new girl was suddenly Lydia’s best friend or if possibly Lydia had her first crush. Not wanting to embarrass her daughter she didn’t ask, but she could see the next day the disappointment in Lydia’s eyes when the card she didn’t even get a card from Chloe. 

* * *

Lydia was ten years old when gay marriage was legalized in the United States. She was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with her parents when they all heard it on the morning news. Nobody really had a strong reaction. Charles said something along the lines of how it was about time it was made legal and Emily thought back to that lovely couple that lived next door to them in the years past, wondering if they were celebrating the great news, not that they were never a family but now it was official. The life they had been living was now accepted by a majority of the country. Emily looked over to an obvious Lydia and was thrilled that her daughter was allowed to grow up in a time where love is love. Relieved that if Lydia was she wouldn’t have to hide it, and if she wasn’t that she could be an ally and appreciate the beautiful and diverse world they had to pleasure to live in.

* * *

Ever since she had started middle school Lydia had become really insecure and self-conscious, it was a hard change to see in her previously confident daughter. She was painfully aware of how cruel kids could be at that age. It’s such a confusing time in life that people often take their inner anguish out on other people. It doesn’t make it right but that’s a fact of adolescence. She wished she could give Lydia a skip button and just let her fast forward through the awkward years of middle school but she couldn’t. Lydia came home from school the one day musing about how pretty the one girl in her class was dressed, how nice her smile was, how smart and funny she was, always making jokes when the teacher wasn’t listening. Charles, a well-meaning, but not intuned to the more sensitive topics in life simply gave Lydia a pitiful look and told her, “Aw honey you’re beautiful too, you don’t have to compare yourself to them.”

It was very possible that that was what Lydia was doing but the way she talked about the girl reminded her of herself at that age when she had a crush on the boy who sat in front of her in English class. Lydia didn’t say anything more on the matter, simply thanking her father for the compliment and finishing her dinner quickly. Emily gave Charles a stern look but it was clear that he didn’t know what he did to upset her, to be fair Emily didn’t know if that was what had upset Lydia either, she hoped that if what she thought was true was true that she would have established enough trust that Lydia would feel comfortable telling her. 

She didn’t make a habit of snooping on the things in Lydia’s room but one night when she was putting away laundry one of Lydia’s dresses had accidentally been washed with Charles’ shirts. Lydia was off to school that day and when Emily went into her room her laptop was still open and turned on, resting on her desk. She walked past and couldn’t help but notice the title of one of the tabs open. The Kinsey Scale Test. She didn’t click on the tab to see the results, those tests only tell you what you want to hear but it was confirmation that Lydia was indeed questioning it. Respectfully she didn’t bring it up, knowing that if she was ready she would bring it up herself.

* * *

Emily didn’t want to leave. She wasn’t ready to die, she didn’t want to lose Charles or leave Lydia alone but it wasn’t like she had a choice in the matter. The cancer had metastasized to her spinal cord and she had a three percent chance to live the next six months. She wasn’t scared of dying, she wasn’t particularly religious, she didn’t care what happened next, but she was so afraid of what this would do to Lydia. She was so young, she needed a mother still. There was so much of her daughter’s life she was going to miss. She was never going to get to see Lydia start high school, or take her to buy a dress for her first dance, or help her work through her first broken heart. She’ll never get to see Lydia find what she’s passionate about, she’ll never help Lydia fill out college applications or watch her open acceptance letters. She’ll never see Lydia graduate and go to college, she won’t have to hold back tears when her baby girl moves out. She won’t get to meet the people Lydia wants to share her life with, or meet the person she marries, or the children she has if she wants then. She’s going to miss everything that happened in her daughter’s life and there was nothing she could do about it. All Emily ever wanted was for Lydia to be happy and to have a good life and now she’ll never get to know how it all turns out. 

She wanted so badly to focus on the now, she was still here right now and Lydia needed her but she couldn’t help but to get lost reminiscing on the past or lamenting on a future she’ll never have. Over the weeks and months leading up to the end, she couldn’t even leave the hospital, it was nothing but the same four white walls as they tried to treat the cancer just trying to give her more time. Charles and Lydia kept her company when they could but Emily could tell when it was all becoming too much for the fourteen-year-old. She had to deal with all of this on top of all the other things going on in the life of an eighth-grader. She didn’t go to school much during the last month, she was given extensions on all her work and told to just focus on family and though Lydia desperately wanted to be there all the time Emily and Charles would insist that she would sleep at home and spend at least one day a week being with kids her age. She knew Lydia was still being bullied, most people pulled back knowing about the whole cancer situation but some kids just used that even more. Emily frequently caved when Lydia would stall going home, insisting that she wasn’t tired but twenty minutes later she would be peacefully sleeping curled up on a hospital chair or snuggled up like a kitten at the foot of Emily’s bed. She didn’t know how many more nights she would get with Lydia, and even though she was fourteen Emily relished in the nights when her daughter would fall asleep in her embrace, all the stress and worry melting from her face as she slept. Emily’s thoughts drifting from memory to memory of Lydia growing up, and though she was so grown-up she could still see that little baby she cradled all those years ago. The toddler that would terrorize the house during the day but look like an angel in her crib. The little girl who would run off the school bus after school and play all night until she fell asleep in the crook of Emily’s arm when reading a bedtime story, using all the funny voices that made Lydia giggle. She wondered where all the years had gone, and when Lydia had grown up. 

There was something on Lydia’s mind, she could tell. She could see it in her eyes but she didn’t know what. There was so much going on in her life that it could have been anything, but whatever it was it was conflicting Lydia. It was a very noticeable change in her demeanor. She avoided certain topics, she got defensive when a well-meaning nurse mused about how any boy would be lucky to date her. Lydia was sitting with her in the hospital bed watching some sappy soap-opera on the hospital television, and when a lesbian couple kissed on-screen Lydia trained her eyes down on the floor, not like she was disgusted but like she was ashamed.  Every once and a while she would go to talk but stop herself as if she was doubting what she wanted to say. Emily tried to assure her they could talk about anything but Lydia would just change the subject saying it wasn’t important. What was important to her was being there. Everyone was aware when the end was coming, they knew it would be soon but they didn’t know exactly when it was going to happen. The third week of December Emily took a turn for the worse, she was rushed into the intensive care unit and Charles was told to bring the family to say their goodbyes. 

* * *

She died on the Eighteenth of December. A day that forever would invoke nothing but grief and heartache in Lydia. A puzzle that would never be fully complete no matter how many pieces she added because something would always be missing. It had taken her a long time to be okay. It had literally taken her a demon and a near-death experience to give her a new lease on life and while she still missed her mother very dearly every day, she was able to go on with her life. Something that she had almost cut short twice because she was so blind with grief and hurt. She learned to be more comfortable with herself. Slowly she had told people the truth, beginning by telling herself the truth as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Telling her father had been hard but she felt stronger once she had, like she wasn’t so alone anymore. She had a variety of coming out stories from accidentally telling Delia, to the tearfully and serious conversation with the Maitlands, to the very casual statement told to Beetlejuice. She felt loved and supported, though she was still bullied and she had her heart broken she rebounded quickly. She met a girl she liked and after a while, she was proud to call Wendy her girlfriend. She was welcomed into the Blackwood family with open arms, and over time they two of them just got closer. The summer before her sophomore year the whole family took a trip to New York and went to Lydia’s first pride parade. She knew her community was large but she couldn’t help but to gasp in awe of just how many people there were like her, proud to be who they were. While the crowd could be overwhelming at times Lydia would always think fondly of the memory, and no matter how many parades she went to afterward that one would always be her favorite. 

There were hard times too. Every December was hard for Lydia, she would retreat into herself and unintentionally push people away. It took her time to learn to let people in and be there for her and she learned how to be there better for him. There were plenty of times where Lydia wished her mother had been there. In her junior year, she and Wendy had broken up. They had a silly argument that neither of them remembered but it lead to them being broken up for almost half a year before Lydia realized she didn’t want to lose her and asked her to prom. During first few weeks of the break-up, she wanted nothing more than to have her mother by her side eating ice cream and talking about their feelings. Barbara, Delia, and Beetlejuice were more than willing to fill the role, she appreciated it but it wasn’t the same. She had her father save a seat for Emily at her graduation and she blew a kiss to the empty seat when she received her diploma. Lydia kept up with therapy over the years, going less frequently but she still touched base at least once a month but she learned skills to cope better. A task that once seemed impossible was now one of her favorite coping mechanisms, in the drawer of her dorm desk was a shoebox filled with letters for her mom that she had written whenever she needed to get something off her chest. Some were emotional and hard for her to write, others were her sharing good news, a once and a while some would simply be what she did that day. She never knew what to do with them, she knew nobody would ever read them but she couldn’t bring herself to throw them away. 

She beat herself up a lot about how she had never had to courage to tell her mother she was gay before she died. She knew her mom would have been accepting but at fourteen she wasn’t sure of anything anymore. There was so much happening during that time of her life that the lowest priority was coming out. She kept it a secret and it was a regret of her that haunted her for years. She would eventually come to terms with it and the fact that she couldn’t change the past.

* * *

Years and years had passed. She was now all grown up, buying a house in Connecticut with Wendy right next door to the place she called her home from the time she was fifteen. She had built a life for herself that she was proud of. Her unconventional family was a beautiful and chaotic mess and she added to the chaos by marrying Wendy and adding two children to their family. They adopted a two-year-old boy that, much to the dismay of Beetlejuice, came with the name Lawrence and they welcome a baby girl that Wendy and Lydia unanimously decided to name Emma. Lydia was never shy about telling her kids about her family, they were aware from a very young age that their one grandma was in the Netherworld and though they had a lot of questions about everyone else in the family their normal included Charles, Delia, Wendy’s parents and brothers, their Uncle BJ and the ghost-grandparents who nearly bawled when the met the kids for the first time. Their unique family definitely earned some concerned questions when Lawrence and Emma’s pre-school drawings included two ghosts and a demon. 

The children were six and four when Lydia finally thought they were ready. They packed up the car for the trip and drove an hour and a half back to New York City. They planned to do some sightseeing while they were there but most of their trip was welcomed with rain and thunderstorms. On the last day of the trip, they got the kids dressed, Lawrence in a red raincoat and Emma in a yellow polka-dot raincoat that made her look like a little duck when she jumped up and down in the puddles as they walked on the sidewalk. They arrived a the cemetery, Lydia’s memory drifting back to a dark time in her life where she felt so invisible and alone. She held tightly onto Wendy and her kids as they walked over to the spot. A grey colored tombstone with the words etched: “Emily Deetz. Devoted wife to Charles, Beloved mother to Lydia.”

Lydia gently placed a bouquet of red roses on top of the tombstone while she held back a tear. The rain had stopped before they got out of the car and the sun was peeking out from behind the trees illuminating the field in a golden-orange glow. Looking up at the sky Lydia pointed to her kids the rainbow in the distance. She took in a shaky breath, she had been waiting years to finally tell her. She thought she’d be more nervous, more emotional but she kissed the back of Wendy’s hand and said, “Hey mom, there are some people I want you to meet.”


End file.
